There’s a reason the Lord fashioned children to grow and develop for an estimated 9 month period in their mother’s womb before entering the crazy, dangerous, yet beautiful world. Primarily this time is for the child’s development and growth but I want to think another big reason is for us as women to emotionally, physically, and spiritually prepare!
Mothers day morning was when we found out we were expecting a tiny human. Almost shaking with excitement I went and brought Matt to the bathroom to look at the positive showing piece of plastic. Joy, laughter, and almost a warmth inside filled our hearts. Then… a little bit of terror was felt. Mostly in a joking way but the thought of the responsibility and commitment that we had been entrusted to was a bit overwhelming. Although at the time the sweetness of the moment overpowered that feeling, it was still there, dormant, and would peek it’s head up in my mind from time to time.
Are we ready? Are you going to be good parents? Does everyone expect us to know what we are doing?? NO! So we shouldn’t expect that of ourselves either. Once in awhile the thoughts I had about the future and the unknowns were overwhelming. I figured I was the only one having these insane thoughts amidst the wild hormones and emotional rollercoaster my body was going through. I am grateful so many of us are on this trek together. There are countless stories that moms have of the tried, attempted, failed, and successes and we can all learn in this together! Community. God’s given us each other for a reason and it is to our downfall if we don’t reach out, get out, and talk to one another about these things.
I’ve never been one to count calories, step on the scale, or exercise for the sole purpose to lose weight. But at my later appointments that turned into every week, the scale kept popping up numbers I had never seen before! It was more humorous than scary but I was reminded every week that my body is not my own. As selfish as I can be with wanting to eat healthy so “I” feel better, to exercise so that “I” can jog further, and to take care of my body so “I” can fit in my clothes (key word being “I”..), I was now taking care of my body for another person. Whatever I did effected the life growing inside of me and the pounds were healthy ones!
For some women, this can be quite a struggle but there was so much beauty in watching what the Lord was doing as my body was transforming to make room for another life. There were many aches and pains and uncomfortable times but it was all too easy to forget that I “signed up” for all of these when we started praying for a child. We really can choose to see something sweet while going through these times when our mind is focused on the bigger picture. One day soon, it was ALL going to be worth the changes.
9 months is a long time when you are waiting for something at the end of it. It also can be a much used time to reflect and prepare your mind for the journey that continues after the 9 months is up. Reading, resting, and rejuvenating spiritually is what the Lord showed me I needed to use this time for. My time with the Lord would change in appearance once our baby came but the amount of time given to me would not. We’ve all been given the same amount of time each day to steward and use wisely yet the factors and distractions can vary.
Every day had something to be thankful for in it. Every day there was something to rejoice in. Every day was another day where I was humbled in thinking that I am the Lord’s child and before I knew anything about Jesus, He knew me full well. He knit me together in my mother’s womb. While I was a sinner, He still chose to die for me. An all knowing, all loving, powerful God wanted nothing more than for me to know Him. He provided for me, watched over me, and had everything happen for a reason in my life and still does til this day. What an awesome Savior we have. Such a Good Father. Jesus is all these things and more to our baby as well.
My prayers changed during this period of my life to sound more like a giving of a sacrifice. I often think of Abraham and Isaac when God asked Abraham to bring his only son as an offering to the Lord. Isaac belongs to God first and He can chose to do whatever he wanted with Him. Our baby has always been and will always be God’s first and it is up to HIM to do chose what He wants with her.
“Lord, I need your grace and strength every day to do what You have called me to. May my life be a reflection of your goodness and grace and may Your power be seen great in my many weaknesses. Our baby is Yours! Help us every day to look to You for what we need to accomplish what You want us to.”